Short Funny Joke Biography
source(google.com.pk)
It is up to us how we deal with life. Exact same moment, for two different people, can be funny or sad. It is totally depend on their attitude, habits and sense of humor. Some people try to find reasons for laughter in every situation while others tend to look for problems. Creating humor, sharing jokes and funny quotes can be very tactful way of coping hurdles of life. See, at the end of it, no one gonna live forever. So you should try to surround yourself with hilarious people every day. It is really wise and suggestible to not to take much pressures and tensions. Always give your 100% to every task and leave everything on to 'Karma'. Someone has rightly been said that "Life is very simple but we insist on making it complicated". Now take the oath to enjoy every present moment and celebrate the blessing of God. By doing so, you can gain and hold attention of everyone around. We are trying to put an effort to make you laugh with below written hilarious jokes and quotes and don't worry about time as we keep them short and yet they're funny.
We always find ourselves blank when our friends and family ask us to share something funny. But after scrolling this post, you will not feel the same. It gonna make your mind full of hilarious things to be shared with companions. Time flies but when you spend it giggling with others, it becomes a good memory you can always talk about. Although these quotes and jokes make fun of others, but this is the way to laugh. So step down to the world of unimaginable fun to power up your conversations!
I wonder that cat's hair is lonely people glitter.
Once a small boy tries to press a doorbell on a house.
I lady noticed that. That boy is very small and the doorbell is too high. Lady thinks that she should help him. So she comes near to him, lifts him and boys rings that doorbell. She asks to that kid: Now what, sweet little man?"
Smart kid replied: Lets run!
I want you to look at me the same way I look at pizza!
Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room.
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Something you mount: "A mountain.."
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
What's long, hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!
I love tiny, plastic realistic food magnets. I don't know why. They're hilarious.
Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot.
J C: I have an engineering degree what should i do with?
P K: Sell it at OLX. LoL.
Fastest mode of communication - Tell a girl a rumor and take promise to keep it as a secret.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
My train of thought just ran off the track.
"My memory is really so bad" "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
Rape is such a horrible word that I would replace it with snuggle!
Me: I want a hot and attractive body.
Me: Does/apply absolutely nothing to achieve this.
Only in math problems can you buy 50 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them.
I love watching scary movies!" *10 minutes later* "Friend walk me to the bathroom.
The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget.
That neighbor knocked on my door at 1.15am this morning, can you believe that 1.15am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Are you from Toy Story? Because you just gave me a Woody
"The spider is more sacred of you than you're scared of it!" "Oh really, did it tell you that?!"!
Never ask for the ‘High Five' from a short person, you can ask for a ‘Low Five'!
'Are you athletic?' Yes, I surf the Web.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
I am forever alone.. Ops.. Correction, forever available.
So much to do, so little time.
It was love at first site - The love with Internet.
There is always a negative person who demotivates your ideas by adding 'What if'.
So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.
They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were in my bathroom begging my sponge for the krabby patty formula."
A kiss can be 10 times more effective than morphine in reducing pain by triggering the body's natural painkillers.
How do you turn a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give her a shovel.
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
How do you know all men are idiots?
I married their king!
In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Yes, I do can take a joke. That just wasn't funny.
Mother-in-law is a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Brain damage is what we were after– chromosome damage was just gravy.
A very short man gets on an elevator and somehow pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The short man stares and says "You're the biggest man I have ever seen." The man nods his head, and replies "I'm 6-10, weigh 286 lbs., and I repair fax machine, I'm Turner Brown." The short man faints! After coming too, the short man asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said I'm 6-10, weigh 286 lbs., I repair fax machines, my name is Turner Brown." The short man looked relieved and started laughing. "For a minute there, I thought you said ‘I am a sex machine, Turn Around'."
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
What do you call two blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
My commitment is to truth, not consistency.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
My life is as good as a romantic comedy except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.
I am sure that I am an awesome singer but when no one is listening.
I get irritation when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
The number one problem in our country is apathy, but who cares!
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Her friend asked her how to spell pen is, and she told - you should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue.
You hate the moment when you wash your car and it rains later
Patrick: I'm mad. Spongebob: Why's that? Patrick: I can't see my forehead.
Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP" *answers phone* "Hi Dad.."
It’s not who wins or loses, it’s who keeps score.
I’m as single as a dollar and I’m not looking for change.
I’m passing directly from barbarism to decadence..
Yeah officer, I saw the "speed limit" sign, I just didn't see you!
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Earth is full. Go home.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam!
It is so ridiculous when people say you've changed. It's like, yeah I also used to be a fetus, but now look at me.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand …
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, press 3.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Leave bad enough alone!
Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too!
Give him a penny for him thoughts, you’ll get change.
He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
How did the woman feel after she got ran over? Tired!
I could say something brilliant at any moment!
What do you call a zipper on a banana?
A fruit fly.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
I'm smiling. This should scare you.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels!
How did the police scare the bugs away?
They called for the S.W.A.T. team.
Why do chicken coups have two doors? Cuz if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
Why don't elephants ride bikes? Because they don't have a thumb to ring the bell!
Females always try to impress males by wearing hot dresses. But we are Impressed Only when They remove them.
Did you ever blow bubbles as a kid? Because he's back in town and he wants your number.
I'm not sure what's wrong... But it's probably your fault!
I love mankind–It’s people I can’t stand.
I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
Your future depends on your dreams – So go to sleep.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
If you’re living on the edge, make sure you’re wearing a seat belt.
That awkward moment when you catch someone's eye exactly when they're picking their nose.
Girls eyebrows these days be looking like they got sponsored by sports Nike!
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
i do not understand why people take me so seriously i never even know what I am saying.
I Hate being fat but I love eating food.
Morning things --
Me: okay it's 7 am
Me: I should get up me: just five seconds
Me: 5 minutes
Me: 5 hours
Me: 5 days
Me: 5 years
When I am at t work and don’t know what to do, I just tend to walk fast and try to look worried.
I wonder If a bra is called an 'over the shoulder bolder holder', then what would you call men underwear?
It would be known as under the but nut hut?
Hey officer! There's a bomb in my gallery!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within 2 days, you can keep it.
Man goes to the vet about his dogs fleas. The vet: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' Man asks why. 'Because he's far too heavy.'
Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.
A guy on his 50th wedding anniversary: "Fifty years! It's like three minutes...under water.
It's funny when people are telling you a story and you're just thinking 'lie lie lie' but you go along with it anyway..
It's your money. You paid for it.
Man: There is a strawberry growing out of my head.
Dr: I'll give you some cream to put on it.
I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
He who laughs last, thinks the slowest.
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
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Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Short Funny Joke Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
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