Funny Free Jokes Pictures: Free Funny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Free Funny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013

Free Funny Jokes Biography

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The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.” She looked at the men in the room, “and Gentlemen, remember — You’re in this together — It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.” The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand. “Yes?” answered the Instructor. “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??” —- This kind of sensitivity just can’t be taught…..

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads: COLD BEER: $4.00 HAMBURGER: $7.00 CHEESEBURGER: $9.00 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $9.50 HAND JOB: $100.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. “Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you sir?” Will the old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?” She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes sir, I sure am.” The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly, “Well then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.”

A truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. “What are you doing?” he says. “I going to commit suicide,” she says. “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a blowjob.” So, she does. After she’s finished, the trucker says, “Wow! That’s a wasted talent. Why are you committing suicide?”. “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl……”

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards.” The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, ” This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?” “No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.” “Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?” She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!” -