Funny Corny Jokes Biography
source(google.com.pk)
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.
Q: Where do you find a one legged dog?
A: Where you left it.
Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon.
Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
Q: What's worse than having a worm in your apple?
A: Taking a bite and finding a half of a worm in the apple!
Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sunday school! ay!
Q: How do you turn soup into gold?
A: Add twenty four carrots!
Q: What did one plate say to the other?
A: Dinner's on me.
Q: Where does the one legged man work?
A: At IHOP.
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a doctor?
A: Lots of blood
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: Why didn't the orange cross the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a Date!
Q: Why is it difficult for a pirate to learn the alphabet?
A: Because he's always gets lost at "C"
Q: How is a piece of gum like a sneeze?
A: Its a chew!
Q: What did the melted cheese say to the unlucky tortilla?
A: Man, it's nacho day!
Q: How do scientists keep their breath fresh?
A: With experi-mints.
Q: What type of computer sings?
A: A Dell
Q: What type of shorts does a midget wear?
A: Short, Shorts!
Q: Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A: Because it makes you break out!
Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: Did you hear about the guy in the car accident lost his entire left side?
A: I heard he's all right.
Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg!
Q: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A: He couldn't concentrate!
Q:What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match.
Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Tomato Paste!
Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A: They don't have the guts.
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: Whats a bear called without teeth.
A: A gummy bear.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll
Q: Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?
A: Because he saw his phone bill.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Q: What did the fruit tree say to the farmer.
A: Stop picking on me.
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idear
Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
A: Tell you tomorrow
Q: How do bees get to school?
A: On the school buzz!
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you call a cow who just had a calf?
A: Decalf-enated!
Q: What do you get when you cross a mean dog and a computer?
A: You get a mega-bite!
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!
Q: Where does dracula keep his money?
A: In the blood bank
Q: If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
A: Really big hands!
Q: What says "oh, oh, oh"?
A: Santa walking backwards
Q: Why wouldn't the Energizer Bunny come out of the bathroom?
A: Because he kept goin! and goin! and goin!
Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A: “Give me my quarterback!”
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his parents were in a jam!
Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A: Thanks! I'll never part with it!
Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A: Patty!
Q: What happens to cows during an earthquake?
A: They give milk shakes!
Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends!
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
A: Because she wanted to test the waters!
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: He was to chicken.
Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A: Roamin' Catholic.
Q: What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A: A Slipper.
Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew! chew!"
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic
Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Microwaves!
Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a short cut.
Q: Why did the child study in the airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!
Q: What type of star is dangerous?
A: A shooting star!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!
Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: Sit next to their fans.
Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Because they dropped out of school!
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I'm coming down with something!
Q: What do you call a bear without an ear?
A: B
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q: What is the only type of dog that knows what time it is?
A: A watch dog!
Q: Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?
A: The retail store!
Q: What does a grape say when it gets smushed?
A: Nothing -- it just lets out a little wine!
Q: Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?
A: He sensed fowl play.
Q: Why didn't the teacher fart in the classroom?
A: Because she was a private tooter.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
A: Because your nose touches the ceiling!
Q: If a whole nation drove pink cars what would it be?
A: A Pink Car-Nation!
Q: What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
A: The letter "h"!
Q: What does a houseboat become when it grows up?
A: A township
Q: What do you get when you cross a library and an elf?
A: A shhh....elf!
Q: What has holes but never spills water?
A: A sponge!
Q: What do you get when you cross sneeze and a punchline?
A: A sick joke.
Q. On your way home you take a right and three lefts then you see two men in masks. Who are those men?
A. They are the umpire and the catcher.
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: Meet you at the corner
Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
Q: What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
A: Jellyfish!
Q: Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
A: Because he had a big bill!
Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
A: Flood lights!
Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A: Sneakers.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A: A sour puss!
Q: What can you hold without ever touching it?
A: A conversation.
Q: What clothes does a house wear?
A: Address.
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.
Q: What did the ghost say to the wall?
A: Hey, sorry just passing thru.
Q: Where do germs go on vacation?
A: To Germany.
Q: What do you call a guy with a spear?
A: Lance
Q: What do you call a guy with many spears?
A: Lancelot
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by it's diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pie
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny!
Q: What country makes you shiver?
A: Chile.
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Q: Who has the right of way any time?
A: The car with gun rack and bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people, I do."
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
A: Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q: What do you call a mushroom that parties?
A: A fun-guy.
Q: Why didn't the teacher believe the ghost?
A: Because she could see right through him.
Q: Which is faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat, because you can catch a cold.
Q: What's the difference between a conductor and a teacher?
A: One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
Q: Why did the farmer win the nobel prize?
A: He was out standing in his field.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?
A: Nah, I won't tell you, you might spread it.
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes?
A: No Eye Dear.
Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.
A: Frostbite.
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.
Q: Where do you find a one legged dog?
A: Where you left it.
Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon.
Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
Q: What's worse than having a worm in your apple?
A: Taking a bite and finding a half of a worm in the apple!
Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sunday school! ay!
Q: How do you turn soup into gold?
A: Add twenty four carrots!
Q: What did one plate say to the other?
A: Dinner's on me.
Q: Where does the one legged man work?
A: At IHOP.
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a doctor?
A: Lots of blood
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: Why didn't the orange cross the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a Date!
Q: Why is it difficult for a pirate to learn the alphabet?
A: Because he's always gets lost at "C"
Q: How is a piece of gum like a sneeze?
A: Its a chew!
Q: What did the melted cheese say to the unlucky tortilla?
A: Man, it's nacho day!
Q: How do scientists keep their breath fresh?
A: With experi-mints.
Q: What type of computer sings?
A: A Dell
Q: What type of shorts does a midget wear?
A: Short, Shorts!
Q: Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A: Because it makes you break out!
Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: Did you hear about the guy in the car accident lost his entire left side?
A: I heard he's all right.
Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg!
Q: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A: He couldn't concentrate!
Q:What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match.
Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Tomato Paste!
Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A: They don't have the guts.
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: Whats a bear called without teeth.
A: A gummy bear.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll
Q: Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?
A: Because he saw his phone bill.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Q: What did the fruit tree say to the farmer.
A: Stop picking on me.
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idear
Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
A: Tell you tomorrow
Q: How do bees get to school?
A: On the school buzz!
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you call a cow who just had a calf?
A: Decalf-enated!
Q: What do you get when you cross a mean dog and a computer?
A: You get a mega-bite!
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!
Q: Where does dracula keep his money?
A: In the blood bank
Q: If you hold 9 oranges in one hand and 10 lemons in another, what do you have?
A: Really big hands!
Q: What says "oh, oh, oh"?
A: Santa walking backwards
Q: Why wouldn't the Energizer Bunny come out of the bathroom?
A: Because he kept goin! and goin! and goin!
Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A: “Give me my quarterback!”
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his parents were in a jam!
Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A: Thanks! I'll never part with it!
Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A: Patty!
Q: What happens to cows during an earthquake?
A: They give milk shakes!
Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends!
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
A: Because she wanted to test the waters!
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: He was to chicken.
Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A: Roamin' Catholic.
Q: What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A: A Slipper.
Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew! chew!"
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic
Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Microwaves!
Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a short cut.
Q: Why did the child study in the airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!
Q: What type of star is dangerous?
A: A shooting star!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!
Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: Sit next to their fans.
Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Because they dropped out of school!
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I'm coming down with something!
Q: What do you call a bear without an ear?
A: B
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q: What is the only type of dog that knows what time it is?
A: A watch dog!
Q: Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?
A: The retail store!
Q: What does a grape say when it gets smushed?
A: Nothing -- it just lets out a little wine!
Q: Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?
A: He sensed fowl play.
Q: Why didn't the teacher fart in the classroom?
A: Because she was a private tooter.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
A: Because your nose touches the ceiling!
Q: If a whole nation drove pink cars what would it be?
A: A Pink Car-Nation!
Q: What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
A: The letter "h"!
Q: What does a houseboat become when it grows up?
A: A township
Q: What do you get when you cross a library and an elf?
A: A shhh....elf!
Q: What has holes but never spills water?
A: A sponge!
Q: What do you get when you cross sneeze and a punchline?
A: A sick joke.
Q. On your way home you take a right and three lefts then you see two men in masks. Who are those men?
A. They are the umpire and the catcher.
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: Meet you at the corner
Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
Q: What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
A: Jellyfish!
Q: Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
A: Because he had a big bill!
Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
A: Flood lights!
Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A: Sneakers.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A: A sour puss!
Q: What can you hold without ever touching it?
A: A conversation.
Q: What clothes does a house wear?
A: Address.
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.
Q: What did the ghost say to the wall?
A: Hey, sorry just passing thru.
Q: Where do germs go on vacation?
A: To Germany.
Q: What do you call a guy with a spear?
A: Lance
Q: What do you call a guy with many spears?
A: Lancelot
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by it's diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pie
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny!
Q: What country makes you shiver?
A: Chile.
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Q: Who has the right of way any time?
A: The car with gun rack and bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people, I do."
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
A: Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q: What do you call a mushroom that parties?
A: A fun-guy.
Q: Why didn't the teacher believe the ghost?
A: Because she could see right through him.
Q: Which is faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat, because you can catch a cold.
Q: What's the difference between a conductor and a teacher?
A: One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
Q: Why did the farmer win the nobel prize?
A: He was out standing in his field.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?
A: Nah, I won't tell you, you might spread it.
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes?
A: No Eye Dear.
Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
Funny Corny Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013
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