Funny Free Jokes Pictures: Funny Blond Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Funny Blond Jokes Free Pictures Images Photos Designs 2013

Funny Blond Jokes Biography

source(google.com.pk)

Blond jokes were invented by brunettes, jealous of Marilyn Monroe getting to have sex with JFK.
Blond jokes are funny.
They're even funnier because they're true.

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

A Blond was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blond."

The Blond then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blond checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The blond opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blond?"

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blond was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blonds," he replied.

The blond did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blonds," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blond?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Did you hear about the blond that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?

Did you hear about the blond that threw away her weight loss video because she noticed that the people on the video were not losing weight either?

Why can't you tell blonds knock-knock jokes?

Because they go answer the door.

What do you call a blond with a Chainsaw?

Dead.

There were three third graders walking down the street a redhead, brunnette, and a blond. Which one had the best figure?

The Blond, she was 18.

What's the difference between a blond guy and a blond girl?

The blond girl's sperm count is higher.

Why don't blonds like to breast feed their children?

Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.

How do you sink a submarine full of blonds?

You knock on the door.

What do you call an intelligent blond?

A Golden Retriever.

What do you call five blonds laying on a beach

A public access.

What do you do if a Blond throws a pin at you?

Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

What's the difference between peanut butter and a blond?

Peanut butter is difficult to spread.

Why do blonds have more fun?

They're easier to find in the dark.

Why do blonds like tilt steering?

More headroom.

A blond calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blond says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ...........

"Let's put all these Frosties back in the box."

A blond suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door and, sure enough, finds him in the arms of a redhead. The blond is furious. She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and aims it at her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up. You're next, you bastard."